Things a Mommy Needs

Being a stay at home mom is hard.  It’s probably the hardest job I’ve ever had, and I’ve worked since I was 13 years old.  Everyone judges you, everywhere you go…it’s an interesting phenomenon.  I take my kids to the grocery store, the post office, the mall because life doesn’t stop just because you have small children.  Unfortunately it takes me three times longer to do anything, not because my children make all tasks take longer (although we all know that they do), but because everyone seems to need to stop me and comment about something.  ”Wow, you’re sure brave!”…”I bet you get lots of ‘help’ from you helpers, huh?”…”Wow, THREE of them!”…oh and one of my personal faves “Did you plan on them being so close or was it an accident?”.  First of all, no I’m not brave they’re my children, I’m their caregiver, and we need groceries.  Secondly they are quite helpful, actually, when given the chance.  Third, yes there are three, so glad you can count.  Finally…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Yes I am quite sure I know where babies come from, so no, there were no accidents here.  The only time complete strangers feel more comfortable asking me absurdly personal questions is when I’m pregnant, but that is another story completely.  All that being said, I know these people mean no harm, they really don’t know any better.  No one can completely appreciate how difficult it is to be a SAHM until they are one themselves.  

So why is it that other SAHMs are some of the worst offenders?  I’ve joined a couple of mom’s groups, after all a mom needs adult conversation every now and again.  I also take my kids to parks and rec classes so they can have some interaction with other kids.  Fair to say I’ve met and talked with many, many other SAHMs.  More often than not the conversations are more a let-me-see-how-much-better-a-mom-I-am-than-you competitions.  Frankly it’s just plain exhausting!  I think it may just be easier to have t-shirts printed that say “I don’t make my own baby food, my kids don’t wear cloth diapers, we don’t shop at Gymboree or Baby Gap, my kids know what NO means, they eat cookies with actual sugar in them, and I breastfeed but don’t feel that formula is evil”.  On the back I could print “I really don’t care how high your child can count, how many words they can sign, when they started walking, what pre-school waiting list they have been on since before they were born, or how sure you are they have an amazingly high IQ”.  That’s right…I’m that mom!  My kids are the ones whos clothes probably have stains becasue they play hard.  My kids are the ones who say please and thank you becasue they don’t know there’s an option not to.  My kids are the ones that don’t throw fits in public because they know mom doesn’t negotiate, we will just pack up and go home (even though it’s not fun for anyone…not even mom).  They are also happy, healthy, and usually pleasant to be around so I feel okay with what I’m doing.  Now, believe me, I know I’m not perfect and neither are my children.  I just don’t really need to compare score sheets with every other mom on the block.  All I really want is some adult conversation…